Bring back public shaming — and other fun ideas for Girls' night
On the trending PowerPoint nights — In case you and your girlfriends are sick of going brunch, drinks or dinner, these are some sure-fire ways to spice up your week (life?!)
I recently introduced two key figures from different eras of my life to each other. Clara (my best friend from middle school) and Claire (one of my best friends from uni, and former flatmate of three years) hit it off from the get-go. I kept getting their names mixed up like a senile man, and quickly realised that they are the same person in a different language font. Blunt, funny and extremely loyal, they nodded along as I vented, “I might [occasionally] be a bitch, but I’m never mean!” Knowing they wouldn’t judge [me], we judged away, with [slightly problematic] comments such as “if they had been bullied a bit more as a child this wouldn’t be an issue” and looks exchanged that silently said “you couldn’t have waterboarded that information out of me.” In that spirit, in what just might be my most unflattering piece yet, I go into how to plan an evening that might not pass the Bechdel test and other fun ways to get your friends together.
Low-stakes hosting and the casual hang
I’ll preface by saying that I am nothing if not committed to the bit. I love a theme, will jump on any excuse to get dressed up, and am always happy to host the pre-game before going out out. I’m obsessed with the elaborate dinner parties
hosts every month and have an emotional support Pinterest board. With that being said, this is my official plea to make things casual again for the sake of having regular quality time with your friends. For three years, I lived in a shoebox-sized apartment in Fitzrovia, and with the exception of my annual Christmas party where I defied the laws of physics and fit thirty people into my tiny living room-turned-sauna (praying that no one would fall out of the second story window), having friends over was always a low stakes and usually last-minute thing. There was the occasional elaborate meal, but for the most part, my friends and I sat on the couch with our plates on our laps, catching up over a bowl of pasta. Since moving to a new place this past September (a kitchen that is separate from your living room is a game changer; anyone who had come to my last place will know how big of a deal this was for me), my flatmate and I have thrown our fair share of house parties.
Ranking the men in your friends’ lives — Dance Mom’s Style
This was the impromptu post-dinner activity that resulted in the most fun I’ve had at dinner in a long time, and an onslaught of texts from people who needed to know what Dustin* (bottom of the pyramid — by a long shot) looked like and what he had done. It started innocently enough, a chill dinner at home with my friends Zoe and May* (I made Pasta alla Norma with a crispy panko-parmesan topping that got rave reviews — stay tuned for a recipe at the end of the month). Catching up on May’s ever-entertaining dating life (when we first met, she was freshly broken up with her boyfriend of six years, safe to say it has been a treat watching her embrace her single era) I made an offhand comment, suggesting that one day we rank all the guys she has been with (and I am well aware that if a man ever said this he’d be crucified, we all abhor locker room talk so rest assured we kept things classy). It wasn’t a mean-spirited remark, but mostly a comment on how the things that happen to her don’t seem to happen to anyone else. At this point, it was too late, the girls were giddy and excited, and the desert long forgotten as I pulled out my laptop.
The way we would hypothetically rank May’s boys would be fairly straightforward. I would open a blank PowerPoint, and she would go down the notes app list (you know the one) in chronological order. We’d blurt out defining characteristics, memorable quotes, and then rank them out of 10. Points could be given for entertainment factors and creative dates, and deducted for ghosting or breadcrumbing. May knew all about them (obviously), I had heard most of the stories as they were happening, and Zoe was hearing about a lot of these guys for the first time, so we would have a range of opinions in the judging panel. May notoriously has a single question whenever any of our friends start seeing someone new: Was he a generous lover? (think Regina George’s cool mom in her twenties). So naturally, there would be a generosity score as well. Average scores would be calculated away from May’s eyes, and at the end of the night, I’d step into my role as MC and present our findings, Abby Lee Miller style, working my way from the bottom of the pyramid all the way up to the top.
This is just a sample idea of what a (lopsided) pyramid might look like. Again I feel the need to recognise that any man doing this ever would be cancelled immediately (and I’m ready for all the men in my life to text and berate me), but when your friends get wronged, this is a healthy way to cope, and when someone treats them really right, you need to give credit where its due. If we were hypothetically doing this, some honourable mentions would include:
Dustin* (1.0), who knows what he did
Gary* (2.9), who
was such a girl about thiswould drop ultimatums and say that either they were exclusive or he was ending things, and then proceed to take things back when May said she didn’t want anything serious (and mope for a week, this happened a couple of times). He also blatantly lied about his height (points were docked for lying and general bad vibes);Thomas* (5.1), whose bullet points included looked camp straight in the eye, tote bag and film camera starter pack, listens to Clairo, try hard, great sex;
James* (7.3), who was very sweet, works for an events company and got bonus points for being able to get you tickets to sold-out concerts and festivals (we all love James)
David* (8.8), who might be the love of May’s life, and also matched her freak on every level;
Diego* (10.3), with whom she saw bioluminescent fish and did other things I pinkie-promised never to tell anyone;
And finally, (drumroll please) at the very top of the pyramid with a score of 11 (you might have noticed some people got extra bonus points, a 10 point scale cannot contain greatness) was Mason*, who happens to be David’s favourite DJ (May loves celebrities and David was soft-ghosting her at the time, everybody wins)!
PowerPoint Night: where everyone can get involved
I’m a lover of PowerPoint night, and it doesn’t have to be this mean elaborate. A couple of years ago, my high school friend group started a tradition where we’d spend the first night of the year presenting everything we did in the previous one (this year it took over six hours, and we took raclette breaks in between presentations). Now that everyone is busy and we’re perpetually in a state of catching up, this is a more exciting and interactive way to get your friends up to date with your life (I would also recommend a monthly newsletter with updates, but not all of us are [f]unemployed). PowerPoint night can be a chance to introduce new friends to your lore, but also to get them on board with your newest hyper fixation (PSA on behalf of Clara: everyone go watch K-Pop Demon Hunters on Netflix), pitch your next group trip, stage an intervention or create starter packs of everyone in the group. I think part of the fun comes from the nostalgia of working on something together. It’s also an activity that forces everyone to be present, phones were nowhere to be seen as we (hypothetically) voted on my friend’s past conquests. Whilst anyone who’s ever done a group project with friends can attest to the fact that it can either make or break the friendship, this is a wholesome and dynamic way to get the group together. PowerPoint night might require a little more effort for all parties involved, but keeping a time or slide limit and simplifying the menu (I’m all for ordering a pizza and calling it a day!! Hosting is hosting!) makes it easier to pull off.
Putting corporate skills to good use and a recipe for a good time
Make the most of your MS Office license from work and get on that PowerPoint train. I know the trend has been making rounds, but far from being a gimmicky task to impose on your guests, I’m yet to have a night where people didn’t have a good time (though be prepared for varying levels of effort committed to the task). This past New Year’s, one of my school friends brought his girlfriend (shout out to Hillary for braving spending five days with a group of people who had known each other for years, and winning us all over on day one, we love you Hil), and it was the nicest and most entertaining way to get to know her. Suggestions for your next PowerPoint night might include: introduce your SO to the group (for the ones in a relationship) or pitch your single friends (for the ones in the trenches).
*Names have been changed
If you enjoyed this piece, you might like:
8 Ways to Embrace “Deep Casual Hosting” (So You’ll Actually Do It) by
I’m all for casual hosting and think it’s the backbone of nurturing meaningful relationships when everyone is so busy (there’s only so much you can do on a weekend, and I like seeing my close friends on a regular basis). I love a night out and trying out new restaurants, but there’s something to be said about extending the night by retreating to the couch after dinner with a cup of tea
You Should Throw a Party is an ode to the house party by my favourite dynamic duo on Substack,
and (I know I raved about the casual hang/hosting here, but the house party is my favourite way to socialise and is becoming a lost art — if you don’t believe me, wrote all about it in The Death of Partying in the U.S.A.—and Why It Matters)I love
’s recipes and the hosting philosophy she preaches and outlines in Nothing Fancy (and the plum and browned butter almond cake in this cookbook is the best thing I’ve ever made, it’s my go-to contribution when I have to bring dessert), don’t be afraid to keep things simple or ask for help!
My power point suggestions are a little more problematic so I’ll keep them to myself… but you’ve convinced me to add PowerPoint night to my birthday party after party!
WATCH K-POP DEMON HUNTERS